


Aqua Teen Hunger Phantom: The Not-So-Ultimate Enemy

by MinorSmile09



Category: Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Danny Phantom
Genre: Comedy, I Blame Tumblr, I Don't Even Know, Multi, Other, Parody
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-17 20:46:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13666977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MinorSmile09/pseuds/MinorSmile09
Summary: Danny and Sam have some new neighbors.





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

 

It was one fine day in Amity Park. Danny and Sam were relaxing, at the same time trying to ignore the obvious sexual tension between them. Tucker was busy ordering a chicken combo at the local Popeye’s. However, this day would prove to be a very strange and life-changing day for Danny and Sam. New neighbors were moving in, and the two were curious about what they would be like.

 

“Hey, what do you think these new neighbors will be like? Maybe there’s a good looking trap--I mean boy for you in there! Heh heh.” Danny asked.

 

“I wouldn’t bet the farm on it.” Sam replied.

 

Suddenly the two heard a voice coming from a house away.

 

“That must be them! Let’s check it out! From a safe distance of course.” Danny suggested.

 

Meanwhile, Shake, Meatwad, Carl and Frylock were just pulling into their new house.

 

“So wait, why are we here again? I liked our old house better.” Meatwad asked.

 

“Meatwad, we’ve been through this before. Now, I personally didn’t do anything wrong, but let’s say a guy did, alright? Like, he did the right thing, but people thought it was ‘wrong’. So he would have to run away to get away from those people. Which is essentially what we’re doing right now.” Shake replied.

 

“Shake, you set fire to the mall because a department store Santa Claus refused to give you a sex robot for Christmas! And now we’re all fugitives of the law because of it!” Frylock chastised.

 

“Yeah, and it figures all you idiots dragged me into it! Now I’m stuck in some strange city in god-knows-where with a bunch of losers and lunatics! And I didn’t even get a sex robot either!” Carl yelled.

 

“See, even Carl knows that the lack of sex robots in our old town was ridiculous! I was completely justified in lighting that place up! And besides, we’re in Minnesota! They don’t give a crap about domestic terrorism here!” Shake yelled.

 

“Oh yeah? Fine then, gimme one good reason why I should be happier here than in my own frickin’ home!” Carl yelled back.

 

“Well...I mean, um...they have excellent sandwiches here, rumor has it.” Shake replied.

 

“Sandwiches, you say? Well, buddy, I’ve got a sandwich for you right here! A knuckle sandwich!” Carl yelled angrily.

 

“Oof, they don’t look too happy.” Danny said to Sam as the two watched Carl and Shake argue.

 

“...Is that a talking milkshake?” Sam asked Danny.

 

“Y’know, now that you mention it…”

 

Meanwhile, the Hunger Force had settled into their house after a few minutes of arguing.

 

“Hey, I have an idea! We should have a little get-together with our new neighbors! It’d make them feel more welcome in the neighborhood!” Danny suggested.

 

“Hey, you’re right! That’s a great idea!” Sam agreed.

 

“Alright, it’s settled then! Tomorrow we throw those guys the time of their lives!” Danny said with excitement.

 

Shake was looking at Danny and Sam from his new window, suspicious about the two.

 

“I’m telling you, there’s something off about those guys! I could’ve swoirn I heard them talking about us!” Shake stated.

 

“Shake, you say that about everyone. Remember the bearded guy at the airport that you reported to the security agents?” Frylock asked.

 

“Hey, he could’ve been a felon! If people didn’t have to be so ‘politically correct’ about things all the time, we might actually be able to find wanted criminals!” Shake yelled back.

 

“He was a rabbi, Shake! A religious man!” Frylock replied.

 

“Look, all we know is that he LOOKED like a rabbi. For all we know it could’ve been a disguise to make a ploy for radical islamic terrorists to pull another “No Russian”! But you wouldn’t know any of that stuff, would you?” Shake replied.

 

“I mean, look at those two! One of em’ looks like a deformed Demi Lovato and I’m about seventy percent sure the other one is a homosexual.” Shake stated.

 

“And? What’s wrong with being homosexual?” Frylock asked.

 

“What ISN’T wrong with being homosexual?! That’s what I’d like to know! They call hair gel ‘product’, for God’s sake! That alone should be a red flag to you!” Shake demanded.

 

The two argued off and on for hours, however in the morning, something very interesting would happen.

 

The next morning, Danny and Sam went over to their house with a cake and some snacks.

 

“Okay, now we gotta set some ground rules here. These are new people, so I dunno what’ll make them uncomfortable.” Sam said to Danny.

 

“Right! No politics, stuff like that?” Danny asked.

 

“Precisely!” Sam replied confidently as she knocked on the door.

 

“Frylock, go get the door! There’s someone there and I don’t feel like getting up!” Shake yelled to Frylock.

 

“Shake, you’re right next to it! Do it yourself!” Frylock yelled back.

 

“Oh hey, is it that gay guy and his ugly pop star girlfriend? If it is, I’m not here!” Shake yelled, with Danny and Sam hearing the whole conversation.

 

“Shake! They’re probably very nice people, just open it and give them a chance!”

 

“Oh yeah, they’re probably ‘nice’ all right! Next thing you know, they destroy your car, turn you into the size of an ant and set your yard on fire!” Shake yelled back.

 

“Shake, YOU did all those things!” Frylock replied.

 

“Did not! You don’t have any proof of that! This isn’t Europe, you’ve gotta prove that stuff now! Besides, as leader of this group I declare my doing of all of that stuff as necessary for our cases!” Shake replied.

 

“...Should we come back later?” Sam asked Danny.

 

“Nah, I think I hear someone coming.” Danny replied.

 

Finally Frylock opened the door.

 

“Ah, don’t listen to him! Come on in, guys!” Frylock said to Sam and Danny.

 

Shake got up off of his chair and proceeded to greet the two, only ensuring disaster.

 

“Oh hi, hi there! Now, uh, what are you guys’ names? I mean, I don’t really care, but I thought I should ask, otherwise I’d sound rude.” Shake stated.

 

“Shake! Stop being rude to our guests!” Frylock yelled.

 

“Ah, relax, I’m just kidding around. Say, toots, what’s your name?” Shake said to Sam.

 

“Oh, that’s my girlfriend! My name’s Danny, and this is Sam!” Danny replied.

 

“Really? Well, you know what they say, the ugly ones always give the best--” Shake started.

 

“SHAKE!” Frylock interrupted.

 

“What?! I’m just saying, if you’re gonna try to make up for the fact that you obviously don’t give a crap about how you look, you might want to practice pleasing your man in other ways! Y’know, I hear some girls practice with toy rockets and about anything else that’s long and pointy.” Shake continued.

 

“I can’t believe I’m being insulted by a milkshake. I mean, I’ve had crazy stuff happen to me, but this is a new one.” Sam stated.

 

“Oh, that is it! It’s on, lady!” Shake yelled.

 

Frylock held Shake back and pushed against him, trying to keep him away from Sam. Carl woke up from the ruckus, immediately yelling as he walked in the room.

 

“Hey, hey, hey, HEY!! What the hell’s all the damn noise?! I’m tryin’ to get my fifteen hours of beauty rest here!” Carl reprimanded. He looked over to see his new neighbors in the room, staring at the ordeal going on.

 

“Ay-hey, who’s this little cutie here? She reminds me of this one broad I knew named Lola. I tell you, she was ugly as sin but she could suck the chrome off of a trailer hitch!” Carl stated.

 

“Ca-Carl, Carl! Carl, that’s exactly what I was saying before Frylock interrupted my statement of intellect!” Shake butted in.

 

“Shake, Carl! Stop being so rude to our guests!” Frylock yelled.

 

“Rude?! The hell ya mean, rude?! I was complimenting the lady, gimme a break!” Carl replied.

 

“Oh, don’t listen to them, fellas. Sit down and relax if you want, we’ve got tons of food and drinks!” Frylock said to Danny and Sam with an audible sigh.

 

“He-he-he-yeah, I’ll take some drinks, all right! I’ll have two milks to go!” Carl yelled with a hearty laugh.

 

“Dammit, Carl, I knew you were going to make that joke! Can’t you just think about how big and juicy that Sam chick’s tits are, instead of saying it out loud? Hey, how old is she, anyway?” Shake asked.

 

“I’m sixteen.” Sam replied.

 

“That’s way too old for Carl, knowing his internet history!” Shake stated.

 

“Shut up, that lolicon binge was just a phase! I was curious for a while, okay?!” Carl replied.

 

“Um…excuse me, but what’s lolicon?” Danny asked.

 

“I…Well, um…” Carl stammered.

 

“Okay, here’s the perfect way to describe it: Take your personality, mix it with that of a horny girl that’s about half your age, and then turn it into a hentai rape doujin featuring her and some hot guy in his twenties.” Shake attempted to describe.

 

“So it’s like a—” Danny attempted to ask before being interrupted by Shake.

 

“Okay okay, just hold on a second, alright? I am not finished yet! Anyway, so the whole situation that hentai doujin would be part of is the bloody, painful lewding of that girl! And not only that, but the viewer grows to like it, because it’s so well drawn and realistic that they inadvertently get man and lady boners from looking at it!” Shake continued.

 

“Shake…” Frylock interrupted disapprovingly.

 

“Then you feel bad about liking it, because you know you just got off to an underaged girl being raped! Then, you think the anime guy doing the raping is so hot that you want him to rape you next in a fleeting feeling of sexual thrill! And then, finally, you sulk in a depression for being such a sick bastard, because you know as well as I do that being a part of this situation in real life would most likely be illegal! And then you so desperately want to be a part of this that you either become a gay sub, or you move to Pakistan, where love has no age!” Shake finished.

 

After several seconds of silence, Carl finally got pissed off and started yelling again.

 

“That’s not what lolicon is, dumbass! Lolicon just means that you like girls who are smaller than average!” Carl yelled.

 

“No no, I’m pretty sure it’s anime pedophilia.” Shake retorted.

 

“Shut up, no it’s not!” Carl yelled again.

 

Finally the two started yelling at once, neither one of them able to win the argument over the other.

 

“Uh…yeah, I’m sorry about those two. Are you fellas hungry or anything?” Frylock asked Danny and Sam.

 

“Hey guys, what’s going on?” Meatwad asked as he entered the room.

 

Danny and Sam stared with wide eyes as they noticed the giant pile of ground beef talking to them.

 

“Well, some very nice guests decided to pay us a visit! Say hi to them, Meatwad!” Frylock replied.

 

“What’s good, fellas?” Meatwad asked as he shook Danny’s hand.

 

“Uh…nothing much, just wanted to welcome you guys to the neighborhood…” Danny replied while noticing his hand covered in sticky ground meat.

 

“This day just gets weirder and weirder.” Sam stated.

 

“Carl, for the last time, loli crap is pedo crap! Same crap, different crapper!” Shake kept arguing.

 

“Look buddy, I’ve seen your internet history too! For someone who insults the gays all the time, you’ve got quite a habit of looking up traps!”

 

“Hey! Hey! Traps and lolis are not the same thing! If you’re gonna compare an apple with something, compare it with another apple, or at least an orange!” Shake replied.

 

“Oh yeah? Well, how are they different, exactly?” Carl asked.

 

“Simple! One of the two constantly acts bitchy and childish, while the other is kind, friendly, and actually a good lover! The only similarity between the two is that they look the same, and that you’ll always feel bad for screwing either one of them! And besides, you’ve looked them up too!” Shake answered.

 

“Yeah, YOU looked them up on MY computer! And if I can recall, you looked at actual child porn by mistake! That’s one of the reasons we live HERE now, you friggin’ dumbass!” Carl said loudly.

 

“Carl, the heart wants what the heart wants! And sometimes the heart makes mistakes!” Shake replied.

 

“Well, your heart is a frickin’ idiot!” Carl yelled.

 

The two kept on arguing, while Frylock, Meatwad, Danny and Sam watched on.

 

“Maybe we should hang out outside.” Frylock suggested.

 

Danny and Sam nodded in agreement.

 

The three then sat outside, enjoying a nice day.

 

“Alright, you two stay there while I go make us something to eat! I’ll be right back!” Frylock stated.

 

As soon as Frylock left, Danny and Sam both breathed a sigh of relief.

 

“Let’s ditch ‘em.” Danny suggested.

 

“What?! No! Look, they’re really nice! Well, at least mostly. Anyway, they were gracious enough to let us in their house to visit! Surely that at least earns them a few hours of our time?” Sam pleaded.

 

“Well…I guess so, yeah.” Danny replied.

 

“I’m telling you, Danny, this is going to work out for the better. Just you wait.” Sam said with a smile.

 

Finally Meatwad brought the two out a dinner, wearing a chef’s hat.

 

“Hey guys, the grub is ready!” Meatwad stated as he placed the food down on the table.

 

“Meatwad? Wait, where’s Frylock?” Sam asked.

 

“Oh, he had other things to do. Something about Shake, I think. Anyway, happy eating, fellas!”

 

“Holy cow, this tastes great!” Danny said as he took a bite.

 

“Yeah! I don’t even know what it is, but it’s awesome!” Sam agreed, finishing her first bite.

 

“Thanks! It’s my favorite recipe for dolphin!” Meatwad replied.

 

“This…this is…dolphin?” Sam asked, her voice squeaking like a mouse.

 

“Yep! Luckily we had one packed in the freezer! Bottlenose, I think it was.” Meatwad confirmed.

 

“But…dolphins are our friends…” Sam said somberly.

 

“Man, dolphin sure does taste great!” Danny stated.

 

“DANNY!” Sam screamed.

 

“What? I’m just saying! You told me to be respectful to our new neighbors! And besides, if God didn’t want us to eat dolphins, he wouldn’t have made them so delicious!” Danny replied.

 

“I…crap, you’re right. We should be thankful.” Sam groaned.

 

Sam took another bite of dolphin as a few tears rolled down her cheek, struggling to keep it down.

 

“Oh, did ya notice the chunks of veal I sprinkled in? It adds extra flavor!” Meatwad asked.

 

“Yeah! It really does help the flavor!” Danny replied.

 

Sam started crying loudly, but it was muffled by the food in her mouth.

 

Meanwhile, Shake and Carl had finished their argument. The two walked outside to relax, however Shake saw what Meatwad had cooked.

 

“Hey, is that dolphin and veal?! Meatwad, for once you did something right.” Shake stated.

 

“You guys are a bunch of sick bastards, y’know that? All of ya!” Carl yelled.

 

That night, everyone would sit down and have a wonderful time together. Everyone except Sam, anyway.


	2. Paranormal Encounters of the Absurd Kind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meatwad and Ember go for a drive after Shake starts big trouble in Amity Park. Frylock does some stuff too I think, and Carl watches porn most of the time. Danny and Sam are barely in this chapter actually.
> 
>  
> 
> Oh yeah, and the Box Ghost makes an appearance.

The night after the dinner, Danny and Sam had very different stories about how it went. The two went back to Danny’s house to relax for the night.

 

“How could someone just cook up and eat a dolphin like that? I haven’t felt the urge to puke this bad since that one time I tried vodka on a 36-hour Skyrim marathon.” Sam said to Danny.

 

“Ah relax, you’ll get used to the taste eventually. To me, it’s great!” Danny replied.

 

“…I assume and hope you’re talking about the dolphin.” Sam replied.

 

“Well, how did everything go? Are they everything you thought they’d be?” Maddie interrupted.

 

“And more importantly, is that one guy actually a talking milkshake?” Jack added.

 

“Well…sorta, and yeah!” Danny replied.

 

Meanwhile, Shake was staring at them through their window.

 

“Shake, for the last time! Stop staring at the guy’s mom!” Frylock yelled.

 

“Shut up, Frylock! I’m telling you, I think I have a shot with her! Just look at those baby birthing hips, she’s perfect! I’m surprised her son hasn’t already made a move on her! Then again, he already probably did at some point!” Shake replied.

 

“Shake, she’s married! And probably in her 40s!” Frylock yelled again.

 

“Frylock, Frylock, Frylock...that’s when you’re SUPPOSED to go for them! Most if not all mothers are at least slightly displeased with their marriage, and if you go for them then, you have a better shot at getting laid! Unless the husband is black, in that case good luck!” Shake replied again.

 

“Shake, I--ugh, never mind. Do what you want, I’m gonna go have breakfast.” Frylock said with a groan.

 

“You do that! In the meantime, I swear to you, I will land this milf if it kills me!” Shake yelled.

 

“HEY! Back off my woman, buddy! You can have the ugly goth lady, this one’s mine!” Carl yelled.

 

Carl and Shake started arguing loudly again, Danny, Sam and the rest hearing everything with widened eyes.

 

“I’M NOT UGLY!” Sam screamed out the window as she opened it.

 

“So that guy IS a talking milkshake! A horny, rude, talking milkshake!” Jack stated.

 

“Well, everyone has their quirks and idiosyncrasies! We should be respectful of them and—” Maddie started before hearing weird noises coming from the lab.

 

“Shake, why are we here again? I’m pretty sure Frylock wouldn’t be happy if he knew we were in the Fentons’ house…” Meatwad said nervously.

 

“Because, Meatwad! We’re doing this for science! Science like this thingy over here!” Shake replied as he grabbed the Fenton Thermos.

 

“I dunno, that looks pretty dangerous. Maybe we shouldn’t be touching their stuff…” Meatwad suggested.

 

“What on God’s green earth could possibly be dangerous about this thing?! It’s a THERMOS, Meatwad! What, is the refrigerator going to attack us next?” Shake ranted.

 

“Well, no, but—”

 

“No buts!” Shake interrupted as he opened the thermos. At that moment, dozens of ghosts bursted out of it, startling Shake and knocking him down. The ghosts flew out and escaped into the town, laughing evilly as they went.

 

Suddenly the two heard Maddie coming downstairs to investigate what was going on.

 

“Oh crap, they know we’re here! Cheese it, Meatwad!” Shake said while running off.

 

“Hey, wait for me!” Meatwad yelled, trying to keep up.

 

Maddie got downstairs to find that the Fenton Thermos was empty, and that the lab was a mess.

 

“What the—AAAAAAHHHHHH!!” Maddie yelled as she realized that all the ghosts had escaped.

 

“What happened?! The Fenton Thermos—it’s empty! All the ghosts inside it got out?! How could this have happened?!?” Maddie yelled.

 

“How about those new neighbors of ours? I don’t think it’s so far fetched considering they fed me dolphin last night.” Sam suggested.

 

“No, it can’t have been them! They haven’t even visited us yet! They would’ve had to break in and do it!” Maddie stated as Shake and Meatwad were running away outside their window.

 

“I think it was my husband, as usual. Oh, I love him but he can be such a fool sometimes. You all remember the Halloween party, don’t you? Half the kids got dead drunk from spiked Ohana because he thought it was a college graduation party!” Maddie continued.

 

“Hey! Those middle schoolers looked 22 and we both know it!” Jack yelled back.

 

“We had to have an intervention for Jazz! I’m just happy Danny didn’t drink any…” Maddie replied.

 

“Actually I did! It tasted terrible though…” Danny added.

 

“So did I!” Jack added further.

 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right, Mrs. Fenton. We shouldn’t just assume it was them.” Sam replied.

 

Finally Shake and Meatwad got home, trying their hardest to act casual.

 

“Okay, so we made a mistake. Surely it won’t have any dire consequences…right?” Shake asked.

 

“Nah, you’re just worrying too much! Everything’s gonna be just peachy!” Meatwad replied.

 

Suddenly Frylock bursted outside.

 

“What the hell did you two do now?!?” Frylock yelled.

 

“What are you talking about?” Shake asked.

 

“I think you know exactly what I’m talking about! It’s all over the news!” Frylock yelled again.

 

“I think he’s talking about us breaking into the Fentons’ home and releasing all those ghosts.” Meatwad added.

 

“SHUT UP, Meatwad!” Shake yelled.

 

“You what!?!?” Frylock asked with eyes like dinner plates.

 

“Uh…the ghosts have made Meatwad delirious! He doesn’t know what he’s talking about!” Shake replied.

 

“I never know what I’m talking about!” Meatwad added.

 

“For once that makes sense coming from you!” Shake replied to Meatwad.

 

“Hey, guys? I don’t want to alarm you or anything, but there’s a FREAKIN’ GHOST IN THE BATHROOM!” Carl yelled.

 

“What?!” Shake and Frylock said at once.

 

Suddenly a ghost bursted out the Hunger Force’s front door.

 

“I AM THE BOX GHOST!! ALL SHALL FEEL MY...BOXLY WRATH!!!” The ghost screamed.

 

“No, you’re not! You’re the Box Faggot! Look, you may be a ghost, but your body odor is still there even after death! And what’s with that 1800’s getup? You look like Eustace Bagge if he had blue skin, a normal looking head, and was about thirty pounds overweight! Oh, and another thing! It’s summer, you idiot! Why are you wearing that stupid beanie on your head?!!” Shake ranted.

 

“THE BOX GHOST WEARS WHAT HE WANTS, FOOL!” The Box Ghost yelled.

 

“Hey, Boxy? You got some T.P. stuck to your foot.” Frylock added.

 

“Wait, really? I mean, uh, IT ADDS TO MY BOXLINESS!” The Box Ghost yelled again.

 

“Riiiiiight.” Frylock replied sarcastically.

 

“I SHALL NOW WREAK TERROR AND HAVOC UPON THIS TOWN WITH MY…BOXARIFFIC AND TERRIBLE FURY!!” The Box Ghost screamed.

 

The Box Ghost then flew off to case more chaos in the town, forcing the Hunger Force to formulate a plan.

 

“Okay, so what’s the plan? We’ve gotta get these ghosts out of here somehow!” Frylock asked.

 

“You idiots can do this by yourselves! I’m gonna go download some more porn!” Carl stated as he went back inside.

 

“Wait a minute, where’s Meatwad? I haven’t seen him for a while.” Frylock asked.

 

“The tard guards are on vacation, I assume?” Shake asked, only halfway sarcastically.

 

“I’m serious! I’m worried about him! Poor guy would get eaten alive out there!” Frylock replied.

 

“Ah, relax, Frylock. I just sent him out to get us some beer, he’ll be fine!” Shake replied.

 

Frylock looked at him with a confused yet extremely concerned expression.

 

“You sent MEATWAD to do something?” Frylock asked.

 

“Relax already! I hired him some help, even he won’t be able to screw this one up!” Shake reassured.

 

Meanwhile!

 

Meatwad finally arrived at the grocery store to get the rest of the Hunger Force some beer, people staring at him in a confused manner. He looked to see a woman that worked there, and proceeded to ask her for directions.

 

“Hey lady, where’s the beer? I need it for a friend of mine.” Meatwad asked. By a freak coincidence he had ran into Danny’s sister Jazz.

 

“We don’t carry beer here, sir. However we do carry other types of alcohol, such as wine or champagne!” Jazz replied.

 

“No, I don’t mean that baby stuff! I want the whiskey, lady!” Meatwad yelled.

 

“We don’t carry that product here, sir…” Jazz replied.

 

“Aw, shoot! Not even bud light?” Meatwad asked.

 

“Nope.”

 

Meatwad then left the store in a funk, depressed that the supermarket didn’t have any beer. However, he then noticed that a car was pulling right next to him. The car unrolled its window to reveal Ember McLain with a pair of sunglasses.

 

“Get in the car, fucko, we’re going for a drive!” Ember yelled.

 

“Sure!” Meatwad replied as he got in.

 

“So, I hear you’re new around the neighborhood?” Ember asked as she started driving.

 

“Yeah, actually! Hey, have we met before? Green-skinned girls who use a lot of eyeliner are pretty common in Jersey!” Meatwad replied.

 

“Well, no, we haven’t. But you’ll get to know me better soon enough.” Ember retorted.

 

“Are ya sure? Because I once met someone who looks a lot like you, but was about 30 pounds heavier and always yelled about men being pigs!” Meatwad asked again.

 

“Ah, Jersey. Where the white guys are black, and the black guys are even blacker! I once took a vacation there! I tell you, they named it the garden state for comedy.” Ember replied.

 

“Yeah, that’s the place! And that one chick, she alwaysh talkhed liehk diff!’” Meatwad continued.

 

“Accurate as fuck.” Ember added.

 

“Hey, didn’t you used to have a boyfriend? Y’know, that Stair guy! I saw him on the news once, what happened to him?” Meatwad asked.

 

“Well, basically he died in a car accident while I was giving him road head. But, he always said he wanted to go out like a badass, and I owed him a favor, so I hired a body double of him and three fake victims to fake their deaths and cover the whole thing up. Then I found Skulker!” Ember replied.

 

“So, what happened to Randy afterwards?” Meatwad asked.

 

“Well…I don’t actually know. I mean, I’m a ghost, but contrary to what he thought, I never actually died. I was born a ghost, I didn’t have the heart to tell him that whole ‘house fire’ thing was just my college roommate who set off fireworks in her living room. So, like, I don’t know if he turned into a ghost too or not, or if he’s just some kind of lost spirit now or something.” Ember answered.

 

“So wait, you’re a ghost? But how is that possible if you’re not dead?” Meatwad asked again.

 

“Butch Hartman experimented with marijuana now and then. Oh shit, we’re here! Stay in the car, I’ll be right back!” Ember yelled as she pulled up to a house.

 

Ember opened her glove box and pulled out a bowl of warm water, snickering to herself. She ran out of the car and jumped over some bushes, entering the house. After a few minutes Meatwad was curious what was going on inside. Finally Ember flew out of the house, going back in her car and pulling out a bag of popcorn.

 

“What was that all about?” Meatwad asked.

 

“Give it a minute.” Ember replied as she took a bite of popcorn.

 

After a few seconds the two heard a deafening scream, followed by someone in the house opening a window.

 

“YOU BITCH! THOSE NIGHTIES WERE BRAND NEW!” Paulina yelled outside at the top of her lungs.

 

“Hey, it’s not like bed-wetting is anything new for you!” Ember retorted.

 

Paulina screamed with rage as the two drove off, Ember wheezing with laughter as they went.

 

“Oh geez, her reaction kills me every time…anyway, the reason I brought you all the way out here is since you’re new to the neighborhood, I wanted you to have some fun with me.” Ember stated.

 

“Ooh! Are we gonna play Chutes and Ladders?” Meatwad asked.

 

“Even better! We’re gonna crash into a wedding!” Ember answered.

 

“Wait, I thought it went ‘crash a wedding’.” Meatwad said in a curious tone.

 

“Well, both technically!” Ember replied.

 

“Oh, okay! Wait, wha—”

 

Suddenly they crashed into a large building, people screaming in the background as they went.

 

“We’re here! Our second stop!” Ember yelled, kicking the car door open.

 

“You’re looking for beer, right? There should be a champagne bottle around here somewhere!” Ember stated.

 

“Hey, I actually am! How’d you know?” Meatwad asked.

 

“Your milkshake buddy hired me to help ya! He made me an offer I couldn’t refuse!” Ember answered.

 

“But Shake doesn’t have any money! He blew the last of it on that premium Brazzers membership!” Meatwad replied.

 

“Not for money! He left my last album a five-star review on iTunes! Now then, where could that bottle be…” Ember answered.

 

“I found the bottle!” Meatwad yelled.

 

“Well, that’s convenient! Let’s get you home!” Ember replied.

 

The two then got back in the car, their ‘epic’ quest for beer complete.

 

“Uh…how do you back up again? I think that shake guy said it was this pedal…” Ember said with an extreme lack of confidence.

 

“THAT WASN’T THE RIGHT PEDAL! IT WASN’T THE RIGHT PEDAL AT ALL!!” Ember screamed as she pressed on the gas pedal.

 

The two went flying like a runaway banshee through the city, running into a mailbox on the way.

 

“I wonder what this pedal does?” Meatwad asked as he pressed on the brakes.

 

The two came to a screeching halt, Ember staring with a traumatized expression.

 

“Oh hey, there’s Carl! Can we pick him up?” Meatwad asked.

 

“Uh…” Ember stammered.

 

“HEY CARL! WANT A RIDE?!” Meatwad yelled to him.

 

“Sure, why not? I just had to grab a new hard drive, my old one is full!” Carl yelled.

 

Carl got in the car, and like that the three drove off.

 

“Hey cutie, aren’t you gonna introduce yourself?” Carl asked Ember.

 

Ember sighed with frustration as she drove on.

 

Meanwhile, Shake was relaxing on a lounge chair as ghosts wreaked havoc on the town.

 

“Hey, uh…it seems like those ghosts are causing a lot of trouble out there.” Frylock hinted to Shake.

 

“Yep.” Shake replied.

 

“Well, don’t you think we should do something about it?” Frylock asked.

 

“Eh, let it run its course for another chapter or two.” Shake answered.

 

Frylock sighed with frustration. Suddenly he noticed a few people running up to him, obviously looking worried.

 

“Guys! You need to get out of here! There’s an army of ghosts on the loose and they’re tearing up the whole town!” Danny yelled.

 

“We noticed.” Frylock replied neutrally.

 

“Yes! And we shall use our amazing detective skills to combat them!” Shake yelled, leaping out of his chair.

 

“Wait, you guys are detectives?” Danny asked.

 

“You bet your mother’s thick and amazing ass we are! We are…THE AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE!” Shake and Frylock yelled simultaneously.

 

“Hey, where’s your meat buddy at?” Sam asked.

 

Suddenly the gang heard a loud crash, looking over to see Meatwad, Carl and Ember running into a fire hydrant.

 

“Right on schedule.” Frylock said in an unsurprised tone.

 

“See, I told you they’d be fine! Now come on, let’s get going!” Shake yelled.

 

“That was fun! Can we do it again?” Meatwad asked excitedly.

 

Finally the hood of the car burst into flames, as fire engine sirens blared in the background.


End file.
